cathairtumbleweeds:

redcloud:

shoesonwrong:

How soon into the relationship should a player bring a twelve-sided die into the sack?

I am going to interpret your question literally and assume you are planning to fashion a string of anal beads out of the dice. A word of warning: they have slightly pointed edges that can cause discomfort. I would recommend starting with a d4 and working your way up. Usually, the third date is a good time to introduce this.

More.

This is clearly bullshit, not a real D&D player. D4’s are pointier. D20’s make much more pleasant anal beads.

I imagine.

As someone who plays D&D and have since the 8th grade this offends me greatly! Especially the “watch out sharp edges” “use a d4”. D4 are flipping caltrops. Do not stick caltrops in your ass.

…I second the d20 option.